The tridecalogism of the day is . . . blamelessness.
"My blamelessness is only exceeded by my ability to make up excuses."

A "tridecalogism" is a 13-letter word. ("Tri-" means three, "-deca-" means ten, "-logism" means word. Got that?) Also, "tridecalogism" is itself a 13-letter word. Cool, huh?

Huh?

Here's the thing: the darklings, our little predator friends in the secret hour, have a weird kind of epilepsy. They don't like certain numbers, patterns, and words. The main thing they can't stand is thirteens: flights of 13 stairs, 13-letter words, and tridecagrams (13-pointed stars) all freak them out.

As a polymath, I have a certain gift for seeing numbers in things. I can spot a thirteen-degree angle, calculate 13x13x13 in under a second (2197), and pick tridecalogisms out of the air. (Or a dictionary, usually.) I can also make weapons that use thirteen-ness to defeat darklings. Without me, my midnighter friends would be scared to go outside in the blue time.

So, in case any of you out there live in a place like Bixby, with a secret hour and darklings and all that, but no polymaths around, I provide Tridecalogism of the Day as a public service. Below is my archive, in case you ever run into a seriously gnarly nest of slithers.

Enjoy.

tridecalogisms archive

blamelessness
"My blamelessness is only exceeded by my ability to make up excuses."
biodegradable
"Peanut butter is tasty and biodegradable."
belligerently
"I poked my brother's eyeball belligerently."
believability
"Rex's conviction outwaits his believability."
beauteousness
"The world seems frequently unaware of my beauteousness."
backscratcher
"We want a pitcher, not a belly-itcher. We want a catcher, not a backscratcher."
arachnophobia
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we suffer arachnophobia."
appropriation
"The appropriation of hubcabs requires great expertise."
kaleidoscopic
"Melissa offered a kaleidoscopic array of bitching expressions."
Anticlimactic
"School lunches are always anticlimatic."
granddaughter
"I wish I was Ada Lovelace's great-great-great-granddaughter."
globalization
"Ms. Henson's Twinkie-eating contributed to her globalization."
geometrically
"My annoyance increased slowly, then geometrically, as Rex took forever to explain something."
groundbreaker
"I am a groundbreaker in the field of applied mathematics."
grammatically
"Rex is grammatically challenged sometimes."
gravitational
"Jonathan has certain gravitational abilities."
justification
"I can think of no justification for Ms. Henson."
lepidopterist
"The lepidopterist was eaten by a fearsome butterfly."
lackadaisical
"The lackadaisical ant starves in winter."
loathsomeness
"My loathsomeness stared back at me from the mirror."
lethargically
"Rex lethargically explained that his face was on fire."
lexicographer
"The only good lexicographer is one who specializes in tridecalogisms."
longiloquence
"I was going to finish my term paper, but my longiloquence became exhausted."
paleobotanist
"A paleobotanist actually cares about plants that no longer exist."
nefariousness
"After setting fire to Ms. Henson, Dess cackled at her own nefariousness."
participation
"Your participation in today's stupid activity is required, Dess."
neurotoxicity
"The neurotoxicity of gummi bears is well established."
nitroglycerin
"Unfortunately, the last chocolate was full of nitroglycerin."
noninfectious
"The rusty nail wasn't as noninfectious as it looked."
deceitfulness
purposelessly
irresponsible
categorically
appropriation
dependibility
illuminations
perambulation
overzealously
demonstration
unjustifiable
explosiveness
illustrations
daguerreotype
scintillating
individuality
intentionally
stratocumulus
blasphemously
blamelessness
biodegradable
belligerently
believability
beauteousness
backscratcher
unintelligent
resplendantly
magnetosphere
deliciousness
conscientious
arachnophobia
rubbernecking
decaffeinated
glorification
magnification
jurisprudence
disappearance
decompression
daughterboard
understanding
incorruptible
anticlimactic
serendipitous
obstructively
fossilization
splendiferous
Machiavellian
hyperinflated